Communication is one of the keys to success in any relationship. Find any two people in a healthy, vibrant, long-term relationship and you will find the ability to hear and be heard. Talking, in and of itself, is not necessarily communication. Communication takes place when two or more people actually listen to and understand what is being said by each other. That sounds simple, doesn't it? We all know it that while it may be simple, it is not easy. Far too many times the question "Can you hear me now?" should actually be "Can you hear me at all?"

Played: 70 | Download | Duration: 00:42:41

     1.  Commitment to the other person.

2 Corinthians 6:11-13
"We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13 As a fair exchange--I speak as to my children--open wide your hearts also."
 
Ephesians 4:25
“We are all members of one body.”
 
    2. Keep the higher goal ahead of your  personal goals.
What is the Higher Goal?
            - That the two become one!
Proverbs 25:11
"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.“
 
Philippians 2:3-4
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
 
Oh Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love . . .
  -- Saint Francis of Assisi  1182-1228 AD
 
    3. Understand the communication process.

"Filters"
    They affect the way we interpret data.
    Usually we are unaware of them.
    They are formed by many factors.

Our spiritual state
John 8:43-45
"Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. 44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. 45 Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me!"
Our sex - men and women
Our experiences
 
. Listen more than you speak.
Proverbs 18:13
"He who answers before listening-- that is his folly and his shame."
James 1:19-20
 "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."

        5. Be willing to work at communication.
2 Corinthians 6:11-13
"We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13 As a fair exchange--I speak as to my children--open wide your hearts also."


        6.  Ask God to help you learn.
Psalms 139:23-24
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."


Scripture
 
Exodus 33:11 NIV  "The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.”
 
2 Corinthians 6:11-13 NIV "We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13 As a fair exchange--I speak as to my children--open wide your hearts also."
 
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.”
 
Proverbs 25:11-12 NIV "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. 12 Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear."
 
Philippians 2:3-4 NIV  "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
 
Ephesians 4:25-27 NIV  "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 "In your anger do not sin" : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold."
 
Jeremiah 17:9-10 NIV  "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? 10 "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.""
 
John 8:43-44 NIV "Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. 44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
 
Proverbs 18:13 NIV  "He who answers before listening-- that is his folly and his shame."
 
James 1:19-20 NIV  "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."