Tear Down Those Walls
Posted by Steve Sparks at 10/8/2006 5:12 PM and is filed under Sunday Sermons 2006,Marriage,Jerry Rahm 2006 
Often in relationships the people involved experience distance or a lessening of their connectedness. Another way to describe this is that walls are put up that prevent us from loving, caring and nurturing one another. There are many reasons that walls end up being built, but one way to begin tearing them down is to move toward forgiving one another. And just as those walls were built one brick at a time in some sort of ongoing process, so we must tear those walls back down one brick at a time. This morning we examine the process of dismantling walls otherwise known as forgiveness.
Editors Note: Today during the Sermon, Jerry built a wall of bricks on the CrossPointe Stage. Think of this illustration as he discusses with us how a wall could be formed, and then “torn down”; as he helps us understand the process of forgiveness.
Below are my notes from Today’s sermon. I hope they help you follow this important message.
Process of Forgiveness
Today’s Discussion:
Why is it so hard to forgive?
Why is it so important to forgive?
Why is it so hard to forgive?
Because it hurts!
Biblical forgiveness requires that "You walk back through the action"
This means you need to understand how you were hurt
Because wee feel they don’t deserve it.
This is not true.
Some of us think this way.
They might not deserve it, but thanks be to God we can forgive.
Because they do it over and over.
Matthew 18:21-22 NIV "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Forgive as much as it takes.
Because it lets them off the hook.
Fellowship is limited if you can not forgive.
Because it is just hard
Because _______________ (insert any excuse here).
Forgiveness is important
Because it IS hard
That's why we have to rely on God to do it.
Because Christ forgave you.
Matthew 6:9-15 NIV “"This, then, is how you should pray: "'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.' 14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Challenge those that cannot forgive, help them learn.
Because he commands you
This is why we pursue this process.
All these reasons are important,
You can put this list in any order
Because you are in bondage
Let go of the bitterness
Do not rob yourself of Joy
Because the enemy wins if you do not forgive
Follow this parable:
Matthew 18:23-35 NIV ""Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27 The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. 29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' 30 "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.""
Hebrews 12: 14-15 NIV
14 Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Because the world is watching
The world does not know how to forgive
Because the relationship can only be restored if you do
How to forgive
Be clear about the offense, when you talk to the person you are forgiving
What is it?
How did it hurt?
Why did it hurt so much?
Help them listen (See Communications Sermon from last week)
Jesus understood the importance of forgiveness.
Forgiveness means I understand why it hurt.
Ask God to help you understand why it hurt.
Pray
Consider the great debt Christ has forgiven you.
Make the choice to forgive
Understand the need
Willingness to talk and seek forgiveness
Even the unwilling must be forgiven
Ask God to help you complete the process
One brick at a time
Be Clear
Go to God
Make the choice
Stop reminding yourself and/or others of the offense
Don’t bring it up with that person or others
Make the choice to never bring it up again
If they do it again, it is new and not the same
If necessary make a plan to protect yourself against future issues
Listen to the Sermon Example about Jerry and his wife Linda
Ask you spouse/friend/family member how you can make it work together
Don’t pretend it is not a problem
Scripture
Colossians 3:12-14 NIV "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Psalms 130:3-4 NIV "If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? 4 But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared."
Jeremiah 31:34 NIV "No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,' because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest," declares the LORD. "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.""
Matthew 6:9-15 NIV “"This, then, is how you should pray: "'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.' 14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 18:21-22 NIV "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Matthew 18:23-35 NIV ""Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27 The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. 29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' 30 "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.""
Luke 23:34 NIV "Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots."
Played: 61 | Download | Duration: 00:37:00
Editors Note: Today during the Sermon, Jerry built a wall of bricks on the CrossPointe Stage. Think of this illustration as he discusses with us how a wall could be formed, and then “torn down”; as he helps us understand the process of forgiveness.
Below are my notes from Today’s sermon. I hope they help you follow this important message.
Process of Forgiveness
Today’s Discussion:
Why is it so hard to forgive?
Why is it so important to forgive?
Why is it so hard to forgive?
Because it hurts!
Biblical forgiveness requires that "You walk back through the action"
This means you need to understand how you were hurt
Because wee feel they don’t deserve it.
This is not true.
Some of us think this way.
They might not deserve it, but thanks be to God we can forgive.
Because they do it over and over.
Matthew 18:21-22 NIV "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Forgive as much as it takes.
Because it lets them off the hook.
Fellowship is limited if you can not forgive.
Because it is just hard
Because _______________ (insert any excuse here).
Forgiveness is important
Because it IS hard
That's why we have to rely on God to do it.
Because Christ forgave you.
Matthew 6:9-15 NIV “"This, then, is how you should pray: "'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.' 14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Challenge those that cannot forgive, help them learn.
Because he commands you
This is why we pursue this process.
All these reasons are important,
You can put this list in any order
Because you are in bondage
Let go of the bitterness
Do not rob yourself of Joy
Because the enemy wins if you do not forgive
Follow this parable:
Matthew 18:23-35 NIV ""Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27 The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. 29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' 30 "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.""
Hebrews 12: 14-15 NIV
14 Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Because the world is watching
The world does not know how to forgive
Because the relationship can only be restored if you do
How to forgive
Be clear about the offense, when you talk to the person you are forgiving
What is it?
How did it hurt?
Why did it hurt so much?
Help them listen (See Communications Sermon from last week)
Jesus understood the importance of forgiveness.
Forgiveness means I understand why it hurt.
Ask God to help you understand why it hurt.
Pray
Consider the great debt Christ has forgiven you.
Make the choice to forgive
Understand the need
Willingness to talk and seek forgiveness
Even the unwilling must be forgiven
Ask God to help you complete the process
One brick at a time
Be Clear
Go to God
Make the choice
Stop reminding yourself and/or others of the offense
Don’t bring it up with that person or others
Make the choice to never bring it up again
If they do it again, it is new and not the same
If necessary make a plan to protect yourself against future issues
Listen to the Sermon Example about Jerry and his wife Linda
Ask you spouse/friend/family member how you can make it work together
Don’t pretend it is not a problem
Scripture
Colossians 3:12-14 NIV "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Psalms 130:3-4 NIV "If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? 4 But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared."
Jeremiah 31:34 NIV "No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,' because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest," declares the LORD. "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.""
Matthew 6:9-15 NIV “"This, then, is how you should pray: "'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.' 14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 18:21-22 NIV "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Matthew 18:23-35 NIV ""Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27 The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. 29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' 30 "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.""
Luke 23:34 NIV "Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots."
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